Practical Advice for Parents with a Drug Addicted Child

January 12, 2021by tzareg0

This can mean emergency help like calling an ambulance or even the police. It also can mean insisting on checking your child into a drug and alcohol treatment center. For parents whose kids are on their own, enabling behaviors are usually more serious. They include important backstops, such as paying for gasoline and car insurance, paying medical bills, and giving them money for a place to live. Rather than enabling addiction, encourage your child to get the help they need.

Some parents and family members may not even realize they are engaging in an enabling behavior. No parent wants to bear the brunt of their adult child’s drug addiction. However, for every young adult who is suffering from addiction, there is a parent out there wondering how they can help.

The mechanisms by which addiction works are still getting sorted out in the science today! So to feel that your child’s drug use is your fault due to enabling behavior is silly. Insinuating that a kid would sober up if he / she stopped being enabled is an oversimplification of a very complex issue. If you’re a parent of an alcohol or drug user, you already know – it’s not that simple. Supporting an addict without enabling them comes with a list of caveats and nuances that can be hard to navigate. There are many treatments and care philosophies in Los Angeles and California.

  • Set your boundaries during periods of calm when you can think rationally about what you will accept and what you won’t.
  • When you allow an addicted person to live with you rent-free, you are essentially giving that person $500 or more a month to buy drugs with.
  • At Findlay Recovery Center, we provide compassionate care to help trauma survivors heal and regain control of their lives through specialized therapy and addiction treatment.
  • Where daily exercise may help one parent stay sane, meditation and journaling may work better for others.
  • Included here is a list of the best tips for parents of addicted children to follow.
  • If you lack knowledge and expertise regarding addiction and your child’s drugs of abuse, you will not have the information necessary to assist them.

Tips to Help You Stay Sober

  • He believes that empathy, respect and trust are integral traits that all providers must possess.
  • One of the most important elements of treating codependency in drug misuse is learning how to set boundaries.
  • When seeking help for addiction, a reputable, evidence-based treatment program can provide individualized treatment plans that can help with the challenges created by codependency.
  • However, you’re only perpetuating the negative beliefs that keep your child in the mindset of seeking substances.
  • This can be true, however, this belief may also be a type of enabling that you do not even realize what you’re doing.

Kids graduate from high school and go away to college, have relationships, get married, and have their own children. By sticking to these boundaries, you will force your child to be held accountable for his or her own actions. It is important that both you and your child understand that any consequences your child may face are a direct result of their own actions.

Addiction Recovery and Art

enabling a drug addict child

Doing something for your child that’s considered normal in most circumstances could be what is holding them back from getting real help. Once your loved one realizes the family is not going to enable their addiction, you can start to encourage them to get help. Substance use or alcohol use disorders are dangerous, and getting help is usually an urgent matter.

  • Take, for example, a parent who knows that her young adult son is drinking on the train commuting home.
  • As Geno listened to his son’s slurred voice, he felt flooded with upsetting thoughts such as “What the heck is it now?
  • Breaking the cycle of enabling can be incredibly difficult, especially in the case of someone you love so dearly.
  • Making your loved one aware of how their addiction is affecting the family helps you avoid enabling behaviors.
  • It is also difficult to see the behavior as enabling when you are close and involved.

How to Talk to Your Teen About Drugs

enabling a drug addict child

You could argue that parents are thus robbing their kids of the self-confidence (or even self-esteem) needed to live happily as responsible adults. However, while you can begin the process for them, your loved one needs to make the decision to get help. If they aren’t ready to talk to an admissions navigator, they can start by texting. We also use different external services like Google Webfonts, Google Maps, and external Video providers. Since these providers may collect personal data like your IP address we allow you to block them here.

Alta Mira Recovery Programs

Make it clear to your child that when they are ready to seek help, you will do everything possible to help find them the best care possible. For many addicts, they must hit an emotional bottom before they gain the willingness to accept help. Once all of the resources they have been manipulating in order to get what they need to continue their addiction have dried up, they may feel a sense of abandonment that may push them to seek treatment. You can say things like, “It seems like you’ve been going through a difficult time lately.

enabling a drug addict child

Advice for Parents of Addicts

In fact, the whole family will have a chance to participate in healthy new coping strategies and long-term planning for a brighter future. If you live anywhere in the Southeastern United States, we provide no-cost consultations and evaluations. Feel free to call the Insight program to speak with one of our substance abuse and addiction counselors. Parents of addicted adults can help their children by allowing them to take full responsibility for their actions. The consequences of addiction may be unpleasant, but experiencing them can give them the motivation they need. If you would like help finding a recovery program for your loved one, American Addiction Centers (AAC) is here to help.

Like many things with addiction and drug abuse, there are many shades of grey that exist. Aside from taking the above suggestions, one of the most helpful things you can do is seek the guidance of a professional who is objective and has experience in this area. Additionally, seeking support groups such as Al-Anon or our parent support groups can be a very good idea. Addiction is a family https://www.inkl.com/news/sober-house-rules-a-comprehensive-overview disease as it affects not only the person suffering but the entire family as well.

By stopping this type of behavior from taking place, you are helping your child gain independence and learn what it takes to recover from addiction on their own. Those “nice” things you do that promote healthy, non-substance-using, pro-social behaviors are forms of positive reinforcement. When your loved one does something that you want them to do, think about ways to reinforce the positive behavior so that they do it again. In other words, “catch them being good.” Maybe your loved one shows up to a family dinner sober, texts you that he will be late coming home or pays back the money he owes you. Take the time to notice the things they do that move in the direction of healthy behaviors. Maybe this means sending a quick text message of support, cooking a favorite meal, complimenting them for cleaning their room, giving them a hug, giving a shoulder massage or sending a card.

As Geno listened to his son’s slurred voice, he felt flooded with upsetting thoughts such as “What the heck is it now? ” immediately followed by guilt for being so suspicious of his son. When you try to control someone who has a substance abuse problem, it becomes a power struggle, and the enabler tends to lose that battle.

Have you sought professional help, encouraged treatment, and provided support to the best of your ability? If you’ve tried various interventions and your son continues to resist or reject help, it may be an indication that the situation is beyond your immediate control. Once they do get involved in a comprehensive treatment program, they will have access to safe, medical detox, well-rounded psychiatric sober house care, holistic therapies, and lasting recovery resources.

Losing a job, a marriage, and all your money as a result of substance abuse is a bottom. So are getting arrested, going to jail, seeing your picture on the evening news, and your name in the newspaper because of a negative event. Enabling substance abuse is a problematic behavior and many parents are unaware of the negative impact it can have on individuals struggling with a substance abuse problem. Learning how to stop enabling and practicing healthier forms of support can lead to healthier relationships and prevent ongoing self-destructive behaviors. One of the most significant issues in the treatment community today is that family members will not hold their children accountable for any drug addiction they have.

These resources provide you with guidance, validation, and a safe space to express your emotions. Connecting with others who have gone through similar experiences is invaluable. Remember, every situation is unique, and what works for one person may not work for another. It is crucial to remain patient, persistent, and compassionate throughout the process of helping your drug addict son. There is often a constant state of worry, as you fret about your child’s safety, health, and future. You’ll likely feel a sense of powerlessness, as addiction is a complex and formidable opponent.

None of us can jump over all life’s hurdles without help and training. At Bright Future Recovery we have the professional skills and compassion necessary to give your teen a fresh start with a drug-free life. Most importantly, getting your loved one into a detox center keeps him or her safe from drugs and their devastating effects.


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